Rainbow falls apart. Just like the naive dreams in our hearts. Nomatter how pretty those days were, you will not take advantage of them. I was told the truth. I really didn't want to doubt, but i couldn't convince myself. I felt guilty at a certain point in time. I thought I were to blame for being less for who I was supposed to be. I thought I failed badly as a friend. I thought I made the rainbow dream shatter. I lost all the confidence in myself, in giving, in receiving. I took the step I would never had taken. For my conscious, for my people I held dearly. These sane understanding didn't help, for I tried to force myself to be someone I am not. I lied to myself over and over, trying to convince into putting in the trust.

I think I have no stance to make any judgement on both of you today. But perception cannot be denied. I really want to put in the trust, but I never fail to insert a doubtful mark each time. I guess it is time to let go. I can't bring myself to befriend you over again. I do not want to get closer. Both of you stay where you are, that is my utmost comfort place. It is not that I do not give my blessings. Just that I am so disgusted with the doubtful thoughts in my mind. I don't know why till this day there are still things to hide. If that is in you, I could only say that I was in the wrong to bother so much, to care so much less about the others who deserve. I understand friends come and go by. I do not hesitate to reciprocate the love I felt. Similarly, I will not condone my foolishness to spend my effort on someone like this. Maybe this feeling is a two-way thing. As much as you may not believe this, I really treated you from the bottom of my hearts. There were no regrets.

I hope, I really do, that you will not carry any regrets either. &I hope one day when you needed someone to be there for you, you have a person. Though I am sure I will not be the one.

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